Thursday, May 24, 2012


Hi everyone!

As usual I am behind on my have to pardon me I know I have plenty of time to write but I'm a type of person that has to be in the mood to write and lately I've been in a mood alright, but not to write! LOL

My first big announcement is that as of MAY 14th, 2012,
Folks, I made it through 16 FUCKING ROUNDS of Chemo!!!! I don't even know where I got the energy or the strength to even withstand all of the bags of medication that has been pumped into my veins. I don't know whether to be disgusted, happy or pissed off but all in all the hardest part of all this crap is finally over. Of course, with great joy there is always greater disappointment....I know I posted on FB about this but I will recap. I thought that after the last round, I'd be free and clear and be able to take out this hideous freakin' port that is in my body...but NO, during CHEMO 11 when I had a different nurse, she made a comment that made me want to cry right then and there. While she was mentioning how great it was I was almost done with all the treatments, she whispered and kind of said under her breath very quickly "well, at least it will be easier to switch from every week to every 3 weeks"...I didn't know if I heard correctly or not but about 3 minutes later I interrupted her and said "I'm sorry WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" She mentioned because I was on Herceptin- (one of the meds I have to take with treatment......)

(*Herceptin is approved for the treatment of early-stage breast cancer that is Human Epidermal growth factor Receptor 2-positive (HER2+) and has spread into the lymph nodes, or is HER2+ and has not spread into the lymph nodes. If it has not spread into the lymph nodes, the cancer needs to be estrogen receptor/progesterone receptor (ER/PR)-negative or have one high risk feature.*)

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...that I would have to come back EVERY 3 FUCKING weeks to get the med injected into my port FOR A FUCKING YEAR. YES. YOU HEARD CORRECTLY....when the nurse saw by my reaction how upset I was, she kind of played it off and said quickly "well maybe your plan is different"...YEAH OK CAT is OUT of the GODDAMNED bag now. No turning back...UGH. Another thing to do, another set back. But it figures right? This year is full of shitty setbacks enough to make Susie Sunshine have a aneurysm. UGH....So that brings me to:

The second to last chemo was all a blur but it meant a lot to me because two of my best friends came with me- Jen and Jeanine...Poor Jeanine has come to treatment like 4 times with me already (as you've seen in my past posts) but this was Jen's first time coming along. I felt really bad because that day was actually her birthday and we had plans to grab dinner afterwards but she asked me if she could come and she said she really wanted to. I didn't want her to spend 3 boring hours sitting around waiting for me but of course I love the company :) This time was special to me because I have known both Jeanine and Jen since the 7th grade and it gave me a rush of crazy memories we all had together- from all the different stupid dumb boys we all dated to our crazy outfits, the beepers, the teenage angst and drama, the covering up with phone calls to the parents, to back in the day when we used to go clubbing every weekend after a full day of work, get ready at one of our houses then take the train to meet Jen at work because she was the first to have a car and could cart our asses around ...HAHAH!  ahhh just fun teenage blows my mind sometimes how old we are now!!!! LOL...this year has not been a great one for all of us for various reasons, but to have such close bitches to me really tears me up sometimes...and even time and stupid cancer can't take away those girls, thank you for being so supportive during all of this: <3

BDAY girl with her DOLLAH WEAVE

Here's to many decades of friendship :)

Pardon my forehead!- Day before Chemo 11!

Embarassing throwback pic courtesy of Daddy Yong...
during the infamous MFA days :)

Ahhhhh memories :) the root of all evil! I was pretty much asleep for most of Chemo 11...and I actually felt pretty shitty and nauseous afterwards...I just wanted to go home and crash  but I sucked it up and we took Jen out somewhere close to my apt to grab a bite to eat and have a giant delicious brownie sundae :) I must be really nauseous if homegirl can't finish her damn steak! LOL....if you all know me well, I can def. eat a lot! But I hope Jen had fun anyways! :)

AAHHHHHHHH FINALL!!!!!!!. This was the LAST FUCKING ONE. I didn't plan on having anyone going with me but my homegirl and longtime friend I met back in the day from YES, the MFA, the fabulous ms. Jeannette took a day off of WORK to just go with me!!! Do I have wonderful friends or what?!!!! Me and Jeannette always had to be separated at work and got in trouble by our boss all the time. I couldn't help it she is hilarious and always makes me ROLL whenever we hang out. Once we met, that was IT I knew we would be friends forever LOL!

SOOO...not only did I get the coolest blue flowers from her, she also brought MY LITTLE PONY coloring books and we each got our own crayons and she even brought tiara's she bought back in the day from the ever popular and famous tiara exhibit from the mfa!!!!!! (told you it follows me :)

Since this was my very last chemo, I wanted to wear something obnoxious and loud, so what better way then to rock some neon pink? Aren't these earrings FIERCE? I sure think so. 

Life would be truly boring without accessories 

Tiara's on!!! Party's about to start!

Chemo Couture line! WERK!

Ms. Chemo 2012- I'd like to thank cancer for making me KICK YOUR ASS!

AWESOME- is all I have to say.

The best I could do while drugged up.
Plus there were stars- it called my name!

My attempt at drawing one. Picasso would be proud.

I got a finger puppet show too!!! HAH

  my purtttyyy flowers for my last day!

As you can see I like to have a little humor in my life!! haha I'm pretty sure Nurse Paula thinks I have lost my damn mind!!!! I always had a rotating harem of friends that came with me every week and always fun activities to do LOL...Dr. Wulfe approved of my loud PINK tank and told me I was looking good so I felt good about that LOL...She also gave me an exam and told me that

THE TUMOR HAS SHRUNK significantly and that I responded well to treatment! so HOORAY!!! :) SHRINK A DINK BITCHES!

Thank You Jeannette for being awesome and such a wonderful friend and coming along to the last one!!! :)

After chemo, we met up with my family and had dinner. I was really out of it and I don't remember much of it. We went to a local buffet place and my mom and dad kept saying "are you ok?, you are like 3 plates of food, you are over eating!" HAHA Jen Yong is an over eater lol It was such a blur. I was still reeling in from the Benadryl and I was starving so I just ate everything in my path.....I also decided after dinner I had to have black eyelash glue at the moment and went to Sally's to get some...WTF? LOL

Jeannette then came over to check out my new place and to chill for a bit and a little while later Vicky came over....I felt horrible because I totally passed out on the couch when both of them were here I remember waking up and Jeannette had left already and Vicky was still there but then I fell back asleep, woke up again and then Vicky was gone! LOL ..but thanks Vicky for coming anyways :)

BUT on the postive side I had a good nights sleep for once. No insomnia...Sleepy Jen :)

So folks I am officially done with this part of my treatment....Tomorrow I have my plastic surgery appointment and then the following week I meet with my surgeon, so from there I am guessing I will have my surgery date!!!!!

Thank you all for sticking with me and following my blog and being supportive. I cannot thank everyone enough!!!!!! I am truly blessed to have so many people care about me. I would have never thought I would ever get such wonderful ongoing support and well wishes!

ALSO:  Special shout out to Professor Christine Foltz for knitting me this special cap from a special animal to help my bald head stay warm :)

<3 Ellie

More updates to follow soon :) Hope this wasn't too boring <3 I still am not feeling 100% but trying to get through it one day at a time...I've been really restless and somewhat in a depressed mood lately but trying to not think about things. Surgery is kind of freaking me out and I'm just so, SO freaking  tired of everything. But like all things in my life currently, "it is what it is" and only time, healing, extreme patience, understanding and lots of meds can change that! LOL. SIGH. Can this just be fucking over already?


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