Friday, May 23, 2014

Where the hell have I been?

Can you believe it's been OVER a freakin' year since I blogged? Omg what is wrong with me?!!!

My total apologies. I'm still here alive and kicking and screaming!

Sometimes life just goes on and you get caught up and you need to just take some time to yourself and reset! So here I am!

So much has happened in past year I don't even know where to begin....rather than make you read my novels I'm just going to summarize what's been going on and have you just watch my new little blogs!

Breast Cancer Updates:

Since my last entry, I had 2 tissue expanders put in on both my left and right side of where my breasts used to be...Over the course of a few months my right side caught up with the left side and I finally had two normal sized boobs where I can proudly wear shirts and bras without pissing me off. Of course all that came crashing down a few months later when my left side started to get infected. 

After many trips back and forth to Dr. Lee ( my plastics surgeon) he suggested he thought the expander was pushing against my skin and told me he would have to deflate all the saline so that the skin could heal. I totally burst into tears because that was the first time in months that I felt normal and had a normal body again and now the rug was being pulled under me again. UGH.  So after about 3 visits, my left side was flat again and it has been flat ever since.....I eventually had to have my 4th surgery to remove the entire expander and the infected skin was cut off. I then had to wait 3 months before I can FINALLY do my freakin' reconstruction surgery. ARGHHHH. Mind you, this was supposed to be done months and months ago so it's been very frustrating that for the past 2-3 years I've had to have surgery every freakin' goddamn summer. Can a girl just enjoy bikini season? Seriously?

So the date has been set for July 31st. And then I plan to take a month off of work ( or at least 2-3 weeks) to heal and not deal with the general public. The only plus side I see to this is having bigger boobs and buying cute new fantastic bras for said boobies and finally going to Florida without feeling self conscious or lopsided for once!

Other than all of that, I still take my daily tamoxifen pills and visit Paula my nurse every 3 months to get that horrid disgusting shot in my stomach. 

I am hoping this surgery will be both sides in one sitting so I don't have to deal with it yet again but we will see. I still have to get the nipples tattooed on ( I still can't wrap my brain about how that's going to work - it still confuses me!)

Other news:
I'm in a new relationship ( very happy.... hiiii Dax!), been going to sunny Florida a lot to escape the nasty gross cold ass Boston weather, have a new kitty Roxy, working almost full time again and finally got a mini raise and promotion, have a new apt and finally got my damn bumper in the front of my car fixed ( thanks dad) - my family has been good, and I love and adore all my friends- new and old so I can't say I have much to complain about really- I just have to eventually find a full time job that excites me and challenges me more. But for now working 3 different places has it's ups and downs. 

Throughout the year I've done a lot of fun cancer related things: Relay for Life, the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk, an Asian Breast Cancer Survivor fashion show ( Thanks ABC Project) I got to talk at a fun event as a survivor at Tufts with ABC, got to travel to Seattle for the LBBC conference and met a group of amazing women and new found friends, and I am thinking about doing the Avon walk next year! I might even attempt the Komen walk again if I can muster the energy and the strength! 

I think that was everything in a nutshell....I will go into more detail later BUT...

As for now- enjoy my new videos - you will notice I no longer wear my beloved weaves ( I miss my long hair and I am seriously revisiting the idea of getting hair extensions over the summer to feel girly again!)

ALSO thank god I have the IPHONE now to make videos- the quality is so much better and I don't have the prop it like 10 feet away with crappy sound!



 I will update on my life yet again soon <3

As always thanks for taking the time to read this and FUCK YOU CANCER!

1 comment:

  1. Jen I am soooo glad to see that you are alive and well! Love Laura